Adult children typically ‘switch roles’ with their parents at the age of 48 – the point at which they give more support than they receive.
A poll of 500 adults aged 50 and above found 54 per cent feel they have swapped places with their mum or dad as they help with driving, shopping and managing finances.
Four in 10 even go as far as saying they feel more like the caregiver than the ‘child’.
The elders were typically 73 years old when the switch happened, and at this stage their offspring started helping them to understand official documents (54 per cent) and digital devices (47 per cent).
Others became the main driver (49 per cent), helped manage their parent’s finances (47 per cent) and took care of household maintenance (41 per cent).
The research, commissioned by Consultus Care and Nursing [https://www.consultuscare.com/], found 23 per cent admitted the changing of roles happened earlier than they’d expected it to.
With 57 per cent saying it happened due to general old age, while 25 per cent found they helped out when their mum or dad became forgetful.
A third simply felt a sense of responsibility so started doing more and 24 per cent took on tasks when their other parent passed away.
For many, the turning point came with a decline in their parent’s physical health (50 per cent) or mental wellbeing (20 per cent), signalling a clear need to step in.
Peter Seldon, CEO of the care brand, said: “So many adult children today are quietly carrying the weight of care, often juggling work, family and everything else life throws their way.
“For this ‘sandwich generation’, it’s an emotional experience that’s seldom discussed openly.
“Recognising when support is needed, and having open conversations about it, can make a real difference to everyone involved.”
The research also found adult offspring typically phone their parents to check in three times a week and visit them twice, with 33 per cent having set days on which to help care for them.
On these occasions, sons and daughters typically do some gardening jobs (36 per cent), rearrange the bins and recycling (26 per cent) and sort through the post (32 per cent).
Nine in 10 (94 per cent) said it’s important their parent stays in their own home, something 84 per cent already do.
Many cited sticking to a familiar routine (63 per cent) and maintaining independence (63 per cent) as key reasons why.
While 62 per cent reckon their parent feels most relaxed at home, 57 per cent are content they are familiar with the layout and 52 per cent said they have helpful neighbours.
As a result, 48 per cent would hate to see their mum or dad have to leave home to be cared for, with 24 per cent more reassured by the idea of carers going to their parent’s.
The OnePoll data also found that, to care for their mum or dad, 19 per cent have cancelled social plans and 18 per cent have taken annual leave from work.
Jane Pochel, nursing consultant at Consultus Care, said: “We see every day how much staying at home matters, not just physically, but emotionally.
“Familiar surroundings give people a sense of control, confidence and calm.
“When families are able to support that, it can ease the pressure and bring comfort to everyone involved.”
