NEWS COPY – WITH VIDEO
British mums are suffering a crippling epidemic of loneliness thanks to 'cliquey' friendship groups and bitchiness at the school gates, a study has found.
Despite 24-hour social media contact, a shocking 92 per cent of mums admit that they feel lonely - with 54 per cent feeling more friendless than before they had children.
The new study found 70 per cent of current mums with dependent children say their generation is the loneliest ever, compared to 14 per cent who believe it was their own mothers and 16 per cent who feel it was their grandmothers who were most alone.
Of mums who do feel disconnected and abandoned, a huge 61 per cent try to hide their feelings from friends and family, and only 38 per cent have ever told their partner how they feel.
Worryingly, 55 per cent of lonely mums say being isolated has left them suffering anxiety, while 47 per cent feel ‘very stressed’.
Loneliness has also led mums to crying regularly, many have struggled to leave the house and one in 20 admit drinking to cope.
Sixteen per cent of mums have got angry with their children due to their unhappiness and 1.5 per cent have self-harmed.
Embed Code (just paste the following text on your web page and the video will appear):
The ChannelMum.com poll of 2,025 mothers found the biggest source of isolation comes from ‘cliquey and bitchy’ groups at the school gates or baby and toddler groups, with 51 per cent of mothers revealing they feel excluded.
A quarter feel alone as they live far from their own families while a third feel other mums are coping better or they don’t know how to meet more ‘mummy mates’.
Four in 10 admit social media makes them feel worse looking at other mums ‘perfect lives’ while a third compare their bodies to other mums online.
And it is rich mums who are most likely to be isolated with 70 per cent of mothers polled saying they wouldn’t approach a wealthy or upper class mum to be a friend.
Over half of Muslim mums admit they feel lonely as other mothers are hesitant about approaching them - with 35 per cent of non-Muslim mothers admitting they are nervous about speaking with a mum who wore a Hijab.
A further 23 per cent won’t approach mums from other countries while 27 per cent of mums don’t try to befriend mothers from another culture.
One in five also said they are worried about making friends with a mum who has children with special needs, along with seven per cent who are frightened about befriending single mums.
Meanwhile older mums are more likely to feel isolated (17 per cent) compared to younger mums (11 per cent).
And sadly, 36 per cent of mums even admitted they wouldn’t invite the child of a mum they didn’t know to a party or playdate - suggesting divisions are being perpetuated to the next generation.
The study showed the main reasons mums are scared to approach other mothers is being judged, with four in 10 fearing they ‘will be looked down on’.
A third were worried about accidentally causing offence or ‘saying the wrong thing’, while 35 per cent simply believe ‘we are too different’.
As a result, modern mums are now a quarter more likely to confide in online friends than real world friends about feeling lonely - with online friends as valuable as ‘real world’ ones.
A third of mums revealed they like seeing other mum’s ‘parenting fails’ online as it reminds them others are struggling too, while almost a quarter find having someone to turn to 24 hours online as very valuable.
Overall, the report also revealed 80 per cent of mothers want more mum friends - but 30 per cent have never started a conversation with another mother which led to them being friends.
To overcome this, two thirds of mums agreed they want to slow down their busy lives and make more time to talk with other mums, while 55 per cent say mums must be less judgemental.
Half say simply ‘smiling and being more approachable’ will lead to extra friends along with 48 per cent who say mums must learn ‘you are not alone and others are going through the same feelings’.
And 44 per cent want more community events involving children, while 30 per cent vow to learn more about other countries and cultures to bring communities together.
To support lonely mums, ChannelMum.com has launched the #CMYANA (You Are Not Alone) Challenge, to help connect mums online and offline. Mums are being challenged to carry out one of five daily activities to widen their friendship group, meet new mums and feel supported.
Siobhan Freegard, founder of ChannelMum.com - who admits to suffering crippling loneliness after the birth of her first child - said: “We all know having a child takes a physical toll on your body, but it can take a mental toll too. It’s terrifying that in our connected ‘always on’ society, nine in ten mums still feel isolated and lonely, often with deeply troubling consequences.
“Being a mum can be tough but we need to remember there is more that unites us than divides us. Scratch the surface and us mums are going through the same fears, worries and joys.
“As a society, we need to get back to the idea of it taking a village to raise a child, and to help and support parents. So today, take the time to smile at another mum - it maybe the only smile she gets all day, and could lead to the start of a new friendship.”
For more information, visit http://www.channelmum.com/youarenotalone
ENDS
