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The top 30 most common household arguments for co-habiting couples revealed

30 August 2022
in Family
Home Family
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The top things couples bicker about include leaving the toilet seat up, not putting dishes away – and leaving lights on.

 

The poll of 2,000 adults living with a partner found 24 per cent clash heads over one person starting on the housework but not actually finishing it, and 17 per cent see red when they notice the shower hasn’t been ‘squeegeed’ after use.

 

Other quarrels to feature in the top 30 list include not dusting properly, leaving crumbs in the bed and whose turn it is to clean the floor.

 

How much time they spend on their phone, leaving trays to soak for ages before washing them up and not taking the bins out are also among the top rows.

 

But the study, commissioned by method, found they aren’t always minor disagreements, with 59 per cent admitting domestic disputes can lead to the complete breakdown of the relationship. 

 

And 39 per cent believe the bulk of their quarrels arise from a cleaning or household chore disagreement – with 13 per cent getting into a spat about this on a daily basis. 

 

Tips for decreasing domestics

 It also emerged gender stereotypes are far from a thing of the past, as 54 per cent of women believe they are still doing the lion’s share of the housework.

 

A spokesperson for the cleaning brand said: “We’re on a mission to challenge cleaning stereotypes and make the world a more fun, fabulous and inclusive place.

 

“It’s shocking that in 2022 we’re still seeing such disparities in the way cleaning and housework are shared.”

 

To help ease the arguments and mark the launch of its new multi-surface concentrated cleaner, method has worked with legal service, Lawrence Stephens, to launch the ‘Clean Up Pre-nup’.

 

Made in Chelsea’s Maeva D’Ascanio and James Taylor have signed the first agreement, officiated by barrister and broadcaster Rob Rinder.

 

Raphaela Kohs, solicitor at Lawrence Stephens, said: "While cleaning and housework may appear like trivial things to argue about on the surface, they represent something much bigger – inequality.

 

“The simplest way to solve issues and avoid conflict arising is by addressing these issues when you begin cohabiting and by fairly and transparently divvying out domestic duties.”

 

The study also found 45 per cent of women cohabiting with a male partner said household tasks are ‘disproportionately split’, compared to just 34 per cent of men who said the same. 

 

And 39 per cent of the females who claim this imbalance increased during the pandemic said it hasn’t rebalanced since adapting to post-lockdown life.

 

But it’s not just heterosexual pairs experiencing domestic disruption, as 41 per cent of same sex cohabiting couples said there’s a notable imbalance in how their housework is split too.

 

 

Gender norms challenged

It also emerged 49 per cent of those polled said their partner expects praise or thanks when they finally manage to complete a task.

 

While 17 per cent of partners believe they’re offering a helping hand and 26 per cent think they’re doing the other a ‘favour’.

 

For a third, it is so extreme, they may have reconsidered moving in together had they known how the housework would be divided.

 

But while 24 per cent are frustrated by the inequality of household chores, it’s not necessarily because they don’t enjoy cleaning.

 

More than four in 10 (41 per cent) said it has a positive impact on their mental health, 42 per cent enjoy it as a form of exercise, and 11 per cent see it as a type of meditation.

 

The research, conducted via OnePoll, also found 41 per cent get frustrated by the split of household tasks as it becomes a matter of ‘fairness’.

 

A method spokesperson added: “Our ‘Clean Up Pre-nup’ hopes to challenge these traditional gender stereotypes whilst also alleviating chore wars so households – no matter what their make-up – can live together in bliss and find the joy in keeping their home looking and smelling amazing.

 

Jemima Olchawski, CEO of gender equality charity, the Fawcett Society, said: “We need to shake up and challenge gender norms that see women left responsible for household work – that means more men taking on their fair share.

 

"Whether in the workplace or at home, women carry the burden of unpaid domestic labour, and this has a significant impact on achieving gender equality.

 

"A re-balancing of household chores and care would unlock the potential of thousands of women.”

The top 30 most common household arguments for co-habiting couples

1.            Leaving lights on around the home

2.            Leaving the toilet seat up

3.            Not putting dishes away

4.            Starting but not completing the housework

5.            Whose turn it is to clean the floor (hoovering, mopping, etc.)

6.            Not squeegeeing the shower screen after showering

7.            Leaving dirty clothes on the floor

8.            Dropping crumbs in the bed

9.            Not dusting properly

10.          Not making the bed

11.          Not listening

12.          Leaving crumbs on the side

13.          Not taking the bins out

14.          Leaving dirty plates in the sink

15.          How much time they spend on their phone

16.          Leaving trays to ‘soak’ for ages before washing up

17.          Not loading/unloading the dishwasher

18.          Making plans without checking you’re free first

19.          Who is cooking the evening meal

20.          What film/TV series to watch

21.          How to decorate the house

22.          Not flushing the toilet

23.          How loudly they listen to music

24.          Not making enough effort with each other's family

25.          The amount of sport they watch

26.          Inviting people over without consulting you first

27.          Who is responsible for getting the groceries

28.          Having to socialise with partner's friends

29.          What to do with a spare room

30.          How to manage the bills properly


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