The post-coital cigarette has become a thing of the past – as smokers are now more likely to check their phone immediately after having sex.
A poll of 2,126 adults, including 1,000 current or former smokers, found only eight per cent light up following intercourse, while one in six now turn to their phone instead.
Only 29 per cent regularly engage in pillow talk after sex, and 22 per cent said they rarely or never do.
Instead of meaningful moments, many turn to other habits right after sex, with 38 per cent falling asleep and 18 per cent cleaning up.
For 13 per cent of men, the first instinct is to check their phone - more than triple the rate of women (four per cent).
Almost half (46 per cent) of those who have had 'casual sex' have chosen to leave immediately afterwards, to avoid emotional discomfort.
Yet, the data reveals 50 per cent would feel more emotionally connected to a partner through post-intimacy conversation.
The research was commissioned by nicotine pouch brand KLAR, which has partnered with sex educator and intimacy expert Ruby Rare to help couples rediscover the joy of pillow talk and meaningful post-sex moments.
She said: “Our intimate moments are precious, whether with a long-term partner, casual hookup, or in an open relationship.
“But the research shows they’re often cut short - with many falling asleep, turning to screens, or stepping out for a smoke. And it's limiting our ability to connect.
“Let's make more intentional space for conversation in the afterglow: because intimacy post-sex is just as important as the 'main event'.”
The study also uncovered more than two thirds (69 per cent) said those moments after sex count as real intimacy, with 40 per cent ranking them among the most significant aspects of their relationships.
But four in 10 agree that today’s society has made intimacy after sex feel rushed and less meaningful, and 44 per cent admit to feeling disconnected when they check their phone post-sex.
While 43 per cent are craving more intimacy in their bedrooms.
Half of the survey-takers said they’re ready to abandon their old routines to create deeper connections with their partners.
Notably 51 per cent report that they appreciate it when their partner stays with them for a pillow talk session.
Sharing emotional conversations (27 per cent) and screen-free time (13 per cent) were both seen as among the most beneficial ways to enhance the post-sex experience.
Strikingly, a higher proportion of men than women believe going screen-free would truly enhance their sense of intimacy after sex (13 per cent compared to 11 per cent).
While enjoying moments of physical closeness (35 per cent) and expressing affection (32 per cent) also rank highly among ways to spark post-coital connection.
Listening to music or enjoying entertainment together (14 per cent), sharing drinks and snacks (13 per cent) or even joint breathwork (10 per cent) were all also recommended to enhance intimacy after sex.
The spokesperson for Klar, said: "We know how easy it is for habits and distractions to cut into moments that matter.
“This research shows that even after something as intimate as sex, many people miss the chance to connect. We want to spark a conversation about slowing down and making space for clarity and closeness in those moments.”
RUBY RARE’S TOP TIPS FOR REDISCOVERING POST-SEX INTIMACY:
1. Start small and open up.
Even a few words about how you’re feeling or a simple “that was great” can spark conversation. The vulnerability of the moment makes it easier to open up, often leading to a deeper level of connection.
2. Cuddle it out.
Cuddling, the favourite post-sex activity for 42 per cent, it keeps you connected and lets you savour the afterglow. Physical closeness strengthens trust and intimacy beyond words.
3. Put phones aside.
Phones can pull you out of the moment. Keeping them away for a few minutes helps you focus entirely on each other and strengthens emotional connection. Or leave your phone out of the bedroom entirely.
4. Pause before cleaning up.
Showering or tidying immediately after sex can interrupt intimacy. Waiting a few minutes preserves the afterglow and allows space for conversation or cuddling.
5. Be mindful of habits.
If you use nicotine, alcohol, or other routines, pause for a shared moment first. Prioritising your partner reinforces closeness and shows the connection matters.
6. Factor in time for pillow talk.
Treat post-sex conversation as non-negotiable. Even five to ten minutes can make a big difference, ensuring it isn’t pushed aside by habits or distractions.
7. Find what works for both of you.
Everyone is different. Whether it’s cuddling, chatting, or lying together in silence, listening to each other’s needs and making small adjustments keeps intimacy alive.
