Almost a third of adults can’t remember the last time they felt genuine joy – with money and work woes getting in the way of fun.
A poll of 2,000 Brits found three in 10 find it difficult to put their own happiness first, instead prioritising their children (31 per cent) and partner (26 per cent).
More than one in 10 (11 per cent) even compromise on things that make them happy as often as daily, while 34 per cent do so at least once – or multiple – times a week.
Similarly, 33 per cent often don’t prioritise their own needs as much as they should.
The lack of sleep (35 per cent) and mental health (30 per cent) were the top factors which contribute to people compromising on their happiness.
But 27 per cent admitted they wish they could be more childlike in their decision making and choose something fun ‘just because’.
The research was commissioned by Arla LactoFREE, which partnered with positive psychologist, Lowri Walsh, to explore why so many adults default to routine, restraint or practicality when presented with joyful alternatives.
As part of this work, Walsh conducted a social experiment that revealed just how quickly people compromise.
Those findings helped shaped a series of ‘joy missions’ rooted in positive psychology and the science of emotional wellbeing.
Designed to close the joy gap, the missions use small but intentional behaviours to shift people out of autopilot and make joy more accessible in everyday life.
The ‘gap’ refers to the distance between how much happiness we need and how often we actually allow ourselves to feel it.
Adopting the phrase 'dance like no one is watching' is one of Walsh’s the tips and 'joy missions', explaining how movement can interrupt the survival mode we often find ourselves in, helping loosen tension and reconnect with an unfiltered version of ourselves.
Walsh said: “Many of us live in permanent ‘survival mode’ as we try to manage the constant stresses of modern living.
“In this state, we tend to prioritise productivity, efficiency and coping, while viewing joy as childish, indulgent or unnecessary.
“The good news is being joyful is not a fixed trait. It’s a daily practice we can all access when we know how and through a few simple ‘joy missions’, people can feel uplifted, lighter and reconnect with what makes them genuinely happy.”
The research also found adults typically avoid moments of joy or enjoyment due to worrying about the cost (34 per cent), feeling guilty about putting themselves first (26 per cent) and because it doesn’t come naturally to them (23 per cent).
But while a fifth believe having to compromise is simply part of being an adult, there are several things Brits refuse to give up.
These include a morning cup of tea (27 per cent), getting into comfy clothes as soon as they get home (24 per cent) and moisturising daily (20 per cent).
Similarly, the small things which bring them joy include listening to music (50 per cent), going for a walk or run (41 per cent) and indulging in sweet treats like chocolate or dessert (35 per cent).
A further 48 per cent are likely to have a nourishing meal if they ever need to make themselves feel better.
But the research, commissioned with OnePoll.com, found 19 per cent feel they’d get judged as an adult for simply choosing a ‘fun’ option in life.
Stuart Ibberson, at Arla LactoFREE, said: “As we get older, joy can start to feel like something we have to earn rather than something we can make space for every day.
“Work, family life and money worries all add up, and it's often the small things that get pushed aside first, but joy doesn't have to mean doing something big or extravagant.
“It can come from everyday habits that help you feel more like yourself again - whether that's connecting with a colleague or friend during a workday, taking a few minutes to enjoying something delicious, or simply saying yes to something that lifts your mood.”
HOW TO CLOSE THE JOY GAP: JOY MISSIONS FOR MIND, BODY AND TUMMY, ACCORDING TO LOWRI WALSH
MIND
• Give someone a compliment. Telling someone that you like their coat or that they have a nice smile can create a brief, but powerful experience of shared emotion that boosts connection and lifts your mood.
BODY
• Dance it out. Movement can help us feel lighter by bringing us back into our bodies – and dancing is a great way to do this. Interrupt the survival mode we often find ourselves in, loosen tension and reconnect with a more instinctive, unfiltered version of yourself.
TUMMY
• Eat something nourishing. This can break the cycle of stress and bring a sense of comfort. Choose something that offers both taste and nutritional goodness to carve out a small but meaningful moment to reset.
